We’ve all had grand illusions of romantic gestures… Unfortunately, most modern men are a little leery of taking such actions unless necessity dictates it. Ryan Gosling plays the part of a romantic fool perfectly when he climbs a Ferris Wheel to convince Rachael Adams to go on a date with him on threat of his demise otherwise; In movie world: so touching; in the cynical reality: what a psycho/stalker/freak.
I have always had a twisted fixation with Ferris Wheels: I am scared stiff of heights but will never give up an opportunity to go on one. Particularly, I find it all that much enjoyable to be riding on one with a significant other. Alas, while I’ve deliberately made myself green in the gills from many rides on one, not many of them have been with the person I had in mind (and heart).
Perhaps I have an arcane (and somewhat old-school American) idea of romance but in today’s materialistic world, the color of the green has certainly outclassed simple romance. Have the ladies grown more materialistic, or have the men raised the ante in a bid to leverage their positions as a good catch? Either way, many have dismissed old-fashioned romance or activities such as an excursion to the funfair or a simple picnic as too time-consuming, ridiculous or just a waste of time and effort. Perhaps the increasing urbanization of the general population has caused this natural evolution, but clearly what we see on the silver screen is very unlikely to translate to the real world with the same “coup de grace”.
But I digress.
Personally, I have romantic associations with the Ferris Wheel (if one conveniently ignores the accompanying motion sickness and resulting nausea). A long time ago, when I hadn’t yet lost my romantic idealism to cynicism, the first boy I ever went out with took me to a traveling fair. It was my own little re-enactment of a quaint American custom; my “little piece of Hollywood”. I had a lot of fun: letting him win me stuffed toys; getting sick from an over-indulgence of corndogs and cotton candy; going on over-priced rides; pretending to be scared on the Viking boat (any excuse to cling onto him) …
Mostly, the memory that lingers the longest and holds the strongest image in my mind is winding down the evening with a ‘quiet ride’ on the Ferris Wheel. I was a little apprehensive initially due to my phobia of heights. It was only his reassurance that helped me to allay my fears (to be perfectly frank, I think the idea of snuggling up to him had a strong appeal to my youthful hormones. In any case, I soon forgot my fears and enjoyed the fantastic view we had of the city (and of course, other delightful distractions). What struck me the most was that single romantic gesture he made; I had been excited by the view and was trying to get him to find the same enthusiasm that I had of it when he looked me dead in the eye and said, “I already have the best view and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen…outside and inside.” It was said with such simplicity and without much aplomb but it left a lasting impression; even the most bloke-ish of guys were capable of romance. But it was the simplicity of the sincerity and truth he put into that one sentence that touched me so deeply.
That became my benchmark: not the actual scenario but the context and situation. It’s been 7 years since but a part of my enchantment with Ferris Wheels has always been linked with that incident. I’m still searching for that special someone to take me on the Ferris Wheel to re-capture that moment.
Recently, a traveling Ferris Wheel was set up by the river in the city. My initial reaction was one of great excitement as I tried to get someone I was (then) in a complicated relationship with to ride on it with me. It did not pan out and I was disappointed. On hindsight, it was a blessing as hormones and the resulting physical implications would have tainted my idealistic memory of romance. I, then, became “involved” with someone that had potential for development into something more and I’d thought to share that experience with him. Unfortunately, the opportunity never arose.
Now, every time I drive past and see the Ferris Wheel, I am filled a sense of bittersweet poignancy as I wished that more could have been realized from that potential relationship. Yet, as I watch the bright lights of the Wheel turn round and round against the skyline, a twinge of hope fills me. Life goes in a cycle and one day, I’d find myself in that special place again (metaphorically): riding the Ferris Wheel with the right person to share that moment again…and creating our own unique memory.
Sometimes you have to go through a little (personal) Hell to get to a (shared) Heaven…
I have always had a twisted fixation with Ferris Wheels: I am scared stiff of heights but will never give up an opportunity to go on one. Particularly, I find it all that much enjoyable to be riding on one with a significant other. Alas, while I’ve deliberately made myself green in the gills from many rides on one, not many of them have been with the person I had in mind (and heart).
Perhaps I have an arcane (and somewhat old-school American) idea of romance but in today’s materialistic world, the color of the green has certainly outclassed simple romance. Have the ladies grown more materialistic, or have the men raised the ante in a bid to leverage their positions as a good catch? Either way, many have dismissed old-fashioned romance or activities such as an excursion to the funfair or a simple picnic as too time-consuming, ridiculous or just a waste of time and effort. Perhaps the increasing urbanization of the general population has caused this natural evolution, but clearly what we see on the silver screen is very unlikely to translate to the real world with the same “coup de grace”.
But I digress.
Personally, I have romantic associations with the Ferris Wheel (if one conveniently ignores the accompanying motion sickness and resulting nausea). A long time ago, when I hadn’t yet lost my romantic idealism to cynicism, the first boy I ever went out with took me to a traveling fair. It was my own little re-enactment of a quaint American custom; my “little piece of Hollywood”. I had a lot of fun: letting him win me stuffed toys; getting sick from an over-indulgence of corndogs and cotton candy; going on over-priced rides; pretending to be scared on the Viking boat (any excuse to cling onto him) …
Mostly, the memory that lingers the longest and holds the strongest image in my mind is winding down the evening with a ‘quiet ride’ on the Ferris Wheel. I was a little apprehensive initially due to my phobia of heights. It was only his reassurance that helped me to allay my fears (to be perfectly frank, I think the idea of snuggling up to him had a strong appeal to my youthful hormones. In any case, I soon forgot my fears and enjoyed the fantastic view we had of the city (and of course, other delightful distractions). What struck me the most was that single romantic gesture he made; I had been excited by the view and was trying to get him to find the same enthusiasm that I had of it when he looked me dead in the eye and said, “I already have the best view and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen…outside and inside.” It was said with such simplicity and without much aplomb but it left a lasting impression; even the most bloke-ish of guys were capable of romance. But it was the simplicity of the sincerity and truth he put into that one sentence that touched me so deeply.
That became my benchmark: not the actual scenario but the context and situation. It’s been 7 years since but a part of my enchantment with Ferris Wheels has always been linked with that incident. I’m still searching for that special someone to take me on the Ferris Wheel to re-capture that moment.
Recently, a traveling Ferris Wheel was set up by the river in the city. My initial reaction was one of great excitement as I tried to get someone I was (then) in a complicated relationship with to ride on it with me. It did not pan out and I was disappointed. On hindsight, it was a blessing as hormones and the resulting physical implications would have tainted my idealistic memory of romance. I, then, became “involved” with someone that had potential for development into something more and I’d thought to share that experience with him. Unfortunately, the opportunity never arose.
Now, every time I drive past and see the Ferris Wheel, I am filled a sense of bittersweet poignancy as I wished that more could have been realized from that potential relationship. Yet, as I watch the bright lights of the Wheel turn round and round against the skyline, a twinge of hope fills me. Life goes in a cycle and one day, I’d find myself in that special place again (metaphorically): riding the Ferris Wheel with the right person to share that moment again…and creating our own unique memory.
Sometimes you have to go through a little (personal) Hell to get to a (shared) Heaven…
6 comments:
Small Disclaimer:
I am ABC so my experiences reflect US culture.
I think the expectations of dating are now are very different than they used to be. Dating these days seems place increasingly greater emphasis on meeting more and more people until you finally meet that special someone that has everything that you could desire from the opposite sex. I'm basing this from watching the rise of the idea of "speed dating". The idea of a guy flashing a lot of money seems to be the ideal at the moment. Although it may not be truly representative, I would have to lean toward saying that it is effective more often than not. This combined with the idea of trying to meet as many people as possible would, in my own opinion, curb the use of such romantic dates without knowing there is a commitment in place. After all, romantic dates require a significant amount of emotion to make them sincere and it is easier to replace money than an emotional investment.
Hey Piers, I think you're right about dating in the modern world. Everyone is getting increasingly time-poor. I'm not going to claim to be some expert or say that my opinion on dating is the only absolute answer. In today's world, culture is different even on an individual basis. My entry is just about my observations... :)
I think money and material comfort is relative. I would love to live in luxury etc but I think that's only a bonus above and beyond having a good guy who loves you and you love him too.
As cliche, love really is the foundation, but then we can't feed on love alone. If 2 people love each other and like they can't even support themselves, then thats crap as well. You know? No one can live on LOVE alone, that's too myopic.
It's all about setting expectations. But pls, don't ever be with a guy because he can afford you diamonds, if so, then you know ur in HUGE trouble...
Money can't buy anything and for sure, it can buy love, but it can't buy true love... and I'm assuming that is the goal yah?
Something along the lines of estee's thoughts but I just recently heard the phrase "learn to love someone". It came from a friend, not so much but that's beside the point, who had just broken up with her boyfriend. Granted the phrase sounds odd because she's an international Chinese student and I'm sure the wording itself makes it sound odd. Personally, I think it's the oddest thing to ask someone to try to love you. I'm pretty sure it's not because I'm ABC that I think it's weird. However, I wonder if it is a factor in making some money based relationships more feasible just because it could be possible to become so used to someone's presence that you develop feelings for them. Any thoughts?
love can come in many ways, of which is the rare one where you fall in love at first sight, although to be honest, i really think LUST at first sight is more accurate. Then, there's the other kind of love that develops slowly over time as you spend more time with the person, sort of an induced liking. My parents are a good example of the latter. I won't say money will make you love a person but I think it helps you to turn a blind eye to some things but certainly you can learn/grow to love someone over time as you get to know the person better.
Post a Comment